Mummy in dilemma

I'm in dilemma.. Lately, I have a lot, going thru my mind... I'm in the middle..making a huge decision in life.. I'm thinking of work, or staying home.. Weighing all the options left..

Looking into auni's precious eyes.. I'm rushed with guilts, it is so hard to leave you.. If only I can be at work and be with her all the time.. I knew I need to make a decision.. I need to choose.. It ripped my heart to leave you, yet if I stayed all day.. I get to see all aspect of your learning curves and your adorable smile.. If only I could stop the clock, so you are always my babies.. And if only I can beg you please don't grow up.. So I can enjoy looking at your adorable and joyous set of toothless grin.. Owh I'm madly in love with you..

You are changing and learning new things everyday.. If only I get the chances to do both the same time.. I knew, if my business success now.. I can do both.. Which is what I preferred. .

I give a chance trying to succeed in a small holdings.. Doing my own thing, looking at the big names in the industry, trying to fit into the space, and hopefully earning and learning something on the way.. But why is it so hard making an honest living.. Don't competition is a healthy thing in business.. Its a healthy thing, yet I'm just so down to accept the facts that I need to move on, keep going and stand by it.. Doing what you love doing, one day, it'll all pay off.. Insya Allah..

As for now, as the blues still on.. I may need time off for myself.. I knew.. If I keep holding back.. I would suffer.. Suffer of burdening my own head with wishful thinking that I'm not taking any actions to change it.. I need a head start or maybe a good knock on the head to tell me to wake up and be real..

And let's pray, and hope that tomorrow the blues went away,.. And I bounced back, away from this blues..frustrations and indecision..


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