Inikah yang dinamakan cinta...?

Inikah yang dinamakan cinta? derita?suka? duka? gembira?terseksa?merana?merintih? seksa?jujur?ikhlas?redha?sedih? pilu? tertekan?teruja? Apakah ini semua yang dinamakan cinta? Selalu aku bertanya.... apa itu cinta... cinta yang terbaik.. sememangnya Cinta Yang Agung.. pada Yang Esa.... cinta yang tiada tandingan.. cinta manusia.. cuma cinta sebentar... cinta yang tidak kekal... Aku dalam pencarian cinta yang tulus... dan abadi... kerana aku telah jauh... dari cinta itu.. dan sekarang aku perlu mencari kecintaan itu semula.. kerana aku telah mencuba cinta manusia... sememangnya .. cinta manusia... terlalu rapuh... senang benar terungkai... Lalu tiada lagi cinta manusia perlu ku tagih untuk mengisi hatiku... benarlah.. ini cinta duniawi. yang ku kesali... Biarlah cinta dunia.. kini aku tinggalkan kau sendiri.... puas sudah aku berjuang untuk mu cinta... tetapi aku tewas dengan cinta dunia ... cinta manusia... Aku perlu mencari cinta agung... Wahai cinta dunia, cinta manusia... aku perlu hentikan kecintaan ku pada mu... kerana kau .... mengecewakan... mengelirukan... memenatkan... dan kau sangat memudaratkan ku....

My New Years Resolution...

New Years Resolution. A so called new years resolution as the yester years, as if that counts... I manage to get this done and over with.. Dunno how, somehow I survived a major crisis in life that has taken my strength and inner pace to the test. Glad that everything is over, and done with,.. things maybe different... hence not knowing is better then been noted and hurt.. so this new years... hopefully things will change and definitely for the the better... MY 2010, resolution and wish list..

• A new camera, DSLR Nikon D300,... Dreams are free.... *winking*
• A blackberry bold 9700 in white... Mr.hubby please?!
• hopefully will manage to own a place of our own... not that im not please with what we have now.. but I have always dreamed of having a place of our own......
• Being stable, and balance... to be called succesful in life, work and love... hopefully in here after..Insya allah...
• To have freedom.. financially, space.. thought and freedom to move arround unstopped and unquestionable .. hated living a live under someone else's microscope...

• To be wise.. in terms of words.. in thoughts .. in speech and in action....

and i'd like to leave it as it is... I'm leaving all the rest and all that matters to Him, Allah SWT, the All knowing... Wishing everyone to have a great year ahead.. a great life to cherish and gratitude for many fortune and happiness may come in future....though we can't afford to have everything we wish for and the hardness that may come.. Always be thankful and gratitude of what you have today.... because what you have today determines.. tomorows...

Lemon Salmon with potato avodaco and olive...

Yup today's entry is my cooking frenzy that suddenly hit me.. and last few days baru beli dari my cousin a.k.a ammiplusone. So today's menu... is lemon salmon.. avocado and potato sides with olives... white cream cheese.. taste is yummy .. Here's how to prepare'em..

Lemon salmon with potato avocado and olives sides

Prepare the fish. Cut them to nice steak slice. Season with salt and pepper.don't forget a squeeze of lemon..and then pan fry them in a hot pan with olive oil... skin side down.. make em crispy then turn the other way.



while pan fry-ing the salmon.. prepare the sides.. like boiling salad size potato in hot boiling water untel they're soft and tender. then cut then in halves. potato is best with skin on.




crush some garlic, squeeze some lemon about 1/4 cup, grated lemon skin , dice your avocado's to cubes,
After the salmon is pan fried. heat a pan on a medium heat and gently fry the garlic and put halves potatoes and grated lemon. the idea is to get the lemon fragrance in the dish. and finally the squeeze lemon. take the pan off the heat and put olives. season with salt and pepper, and then serve with the dressings of your choice. my choice is white cream cheese. its just a mixture of thick cream boil to medium heat till reduced and added some grated cheese (sliced cheese would do) and season with salt and pepper. taste is yummy!


The Result

A Well Deserving Dinner for the Chef....

*** please mind the clarity of the picture, its taken with my useful 2.0MP phone**

when it is all been done and said.. and there's nothing left to hide or even hold any grudges towards anyone.. as i've never been before... I am so relieved from all the stress, and filled my times, even extra times filled with work..work.. and more work.. making use of all the time and spent only quality times with the loved one..Mr.Hubby... who also works very hard lately.. I am so very proud of u! So, I am taking every day, one day at a time...baby steps to this long journey of life.. considering my wild imagination... and this freedom of thoughts and ideas.. i need to channel it to something productive and meaningful... All this time, I have done much of the pleasing and all the hard works, thinking that maybe... maybe.. just one day someone might realize.. or even recognize what i've done all of this years.. But dream's a dream.... dreams are free.. I am done pleasing or even trying .... I had enough of all of this... be what ever it shall be... and just going with the flow.. might be the right word at this time... although. time is rigid... it is impossible to say the least.... I have mourn my lost, I have gone down the drain, stand up to my judgement, stand on my own two feet this whole time... been disowned and get through it, keep up with my battle, and I know for sure that I will get thru 'this'... it is bitter... hard to swallow... i know i will and i know i have to... coz there's no other way... Regrets,... will bring me nowhere.. coz its been said.. and words do counts.. and its time to making it a realization.... though its just hard for me to commit.. and making my smile rose on my cheek.... though this pity heart is crying and dying inside... Time is up to cry... words tied up... there goes all of my hardwork down the drain... Bye-bye...and nothing is left to be said or take back...